Guest post by Jillian. I’ve known Jilly for many years, she is my BFF’s younger sister’s BFF.  She is one of the sweetest, funniest, most genuine people I know and I am honored she has shared this post with us.

I didn’t really know I was overweight until I lost about 25 pounds in 2005. Until that point in my life, I thought I was normal sized, maybe a little chubby, but not obese. I knew what obese looked like. Those people with rolls and rolls of flesh, double chins, 40 inch waistlines. I was just ‘bigger’ than my friends were. I was healthy. I was OK.

Like most individuals with an eating disorder, I saw myself completely different than how others saw me. However, I saw it backwards; I thought I was *thinner* than I actually was. Today, I look back at pictures and I feel sad at how unhealthy I was. I had no idea how to really eat healthy. I ate twice as much per sitting as I should have. I couldn’t even make it twice around the indoor track at my college gym. Until recently, I had no idea that I was an emotional eater. That I also ate too much when I was tired or in social situations with people bigger than me. That I celebrate with food. I was large and had no idea how large I was.

Fast forward over two years later. I can run, I can lift weights, I can do pilates and yoga and hike and at least be able to *try* anything that comes my way. I eat as healthy as possible, and I know how to substitute healthy foods for unhealthy ones and still feel satisfied. I’m smaller at 24 than I was in high school (and college).

But it’s a learning process for me. One that’ll never be over. My BMI is down from 32 to a 26…which means I’m still overweight but no longer the “O” word….and I’m not talking about Oprah. With being almost 40 lbs. thinner comes more responsibility than when I was a chubber. It was SOOO much easier to just eat whatever, whenever, than to count calories, measure portions and add up points (I do Weight Watchers). It was more fun to go to dinner and parties and not worry about what I ate. Or drank. I could easily be the “DFF” or designated fat friend, who made everyone laugh with self-depreciative jokes but who boys/men were not always physically attracted to. Clothing options were not as plentiful. I couldn’t just shop in every store. I was safe and warm in my bigger body. And I HAVE to exercise to keep up my work. Which takes time away from laying on the couch and eating cookies.

Do I miss my flubber? No, sometimes in the winter when I’m cold, but overall a big fat NO. I am getting used to working on feeling like a sexy, confident and average sized woman. It’s a journey well worth it in the long run.

Guest post by the Fabulous BK. Girlfriend is keeping it real and that’s why I heart her.  A native Brooklynite (yeah, new york baby!) of Carribean heritage, BK lives in the DC metro area with her two awesome children and a Certified Jazzercise instructor.

Macaroni & Cheese is ONE of my favorite foods.. It’s absolute comfort food and its nothing like mac & cheese, fried chicken, cornbread and a helping of greens (collards, kale, turnip.. get my drift)

In a quest to make one of my FAVORITES lower in fat.. I set out to substitute the four/five cheeses I normally use to well, cottage & sour cream….I wasn’t excited about it at first.. I WILL NOT LIE. I was VERY skeptical but I was determined to find a lower fat version of my favorite to enjoy regularly rather than on holidays & special occasions.

I tried this recipe back in February 2008 and my son (who eats EVERYTHING) said to me Mommy, its not as cheesy as your other mac & cheese but its still good.. A commenter (Sunshine) mentioned on that post that I had not mentioned any regular cheeses like cheddar.. I know, it’s because I didn’t use any THE FIRST TIME.. So the original recipe is below:

• ½ cup uncooked pasta (I used rotini but any pasta will do)
• 2 tablespoons cream-style cottage cheese, small curd 2% milkfat
• 2 tablespoons sour cream
• ¼ cup egg beaters
• salt
• pepper
• 8 ounces 2% part skim mozzarella
• Small onion diced

Drain pasta and leave on the side. Combine all ingredients and blend together well (it helps to do it on the stove top. Heat helps to melt the cheeses) bring to a boil (very small) and then add pasta.. pour into pan add additional mozzarella to top and then bake at 375 degrees for 20-25 minutes.

So after Sunshine asked about the cheddar.. I figured Hmm they make 2% cheddar (mild & sharp) so what did BK do? I tried it with 4 ounces 2% sharp cheddar, 4 ounces 2% part skim mozzarella and…. IT WASN’T BAD!!!

While this recipe is LESS in FAT than my family’s original mac & cheese I found it to still be a little rich (with the cheddar). I have also experimented with adding a little grated parmesan & romano (1/4 cup) mixed in with the remaining mozzarella cheese on top. That actually tasted better to me than the cheddar added.

I paired this with my baked “fried” chicken, greens and cornbread and the family was very happy with little to no leftovers. If you try it, feel free to let me know what you think!!!!

Thank you for sharing BK!

I guess we’re gonna stick to the Tuesdays as I keep forgetting the Mondays… This morning I am thankful for MizFit’s post on MUSTerbation.  Instead of MUSTing myself out of bed at 4am (or else I would be a complete worthless marathon trainee that doesn’t deserve the feet I run on) I acknowledged that I wasn’t feeling well, that it is raining and I should probably stay in bed and go running later (if I want).  I slept until 7.

Let’s hear it ya’ll!

I am honored to be a member of an amzing organization called the Eating Disorders Coalition, for Research, Policy and Action.  Quite simply, they get shit done and work hard every day at advancing federal recognition of Eating Disorders as a public health priority.  I know, because I’ve lobbyed Congress with them…they are hard core.

Please check out this info they just sent me about a new Documentary that I think you all will be interested in.

http://www.americathebeautifuldoc.com/ 

“America the Beautiful,” an independent film that is an indictment of our country’s beauty industry, has received high praise from reviewers and RAVE reviews from the eating disorder community.  Robert Ebert declared it a “POWERFUL MESSAGE.” To honor and spotlight the screening, and its myth-deflating message, EDC has scheduled a day of events to celebrate the Washington DC premiere of the film.

The EDC is in the forefront of creating legislation to educate the public about media’s impact on society, and how irresponsible media affects sufferers and their loved ones. The FREED Act, an EDC initiative, targets education in addition to research and treatment. We believe this film, and the conversation it is creating, is valuable and timely as we gather sponsors and support for this bill.

2:30-4:00
Congressional Briefing, United States Capitol Room H-137

Hosted by, Congressman Jim Ramstad (R-MN)

Speakers: Julie Holland, Dianne Neumark-Sztainer, Darryl Roberts, and Jenni Schaffer

Free

5:00pm-6:30pm

Reception with special guest filmmaker Darryl Roberts

720 7th Street NW, Suite 300

Price: $40 Junior Tickets, $70 Regular Tickets

Reception Tickets Include one movie ticket

7:00pm – 9:30pm

Screening: America The Beautiful followed by a Q & A with the filmmaker Darryl Roberts.

E Street Theater

555 E Street NW (10th and 11th)

Price: $15 online/$20 door

For more information, and to register for these events, visit www.eatingdisorderscoalition.org.

I will say up front that this isn’t a fitness related post.  Well, maybe mental/emotional fitness, so feel free to skip over if you’re not in the mood for my self-reflecting blather (thanks for the borrow BL).

I have always sung.  My mother has cassette tapes of me singing at age 3 everything from I’m a Little Teapot to Diana Ross.  Fast forward to grade school, where I sang all the chorus leads & did all the shows, then on to high school where I went to an elite prep school (yes boarding) so I could focus more on my musical studies.  After I graduated I was accepted to study at a music program in Italy so off I went.  Next on the list was college, where I was a Voice Performance major.  I had a plan and I stuck to it. 

However behind the scenes I was a mess.  I had a dirty little secret called bulimia that started when I was 16.  By the time I was in college I was non-functional and completely overtaken by my disease.  I skipped classes to binge-n-purge, I couldn’t concentrate, my throat was always sore (doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know incessant vomitting is not good for the throat/voice) and I was spiraling into a major depression.  When it was obvious that I could no longer be there and that I needed help, I withdrew from school telling myself it would only be for one semester.  That one turned into two, two into three, three into four, etc, etc.  My parents didn’t really understand the extent of my problem or what an “eating disorder” was so they just thought it would eventually go away.  And since I didn’t really want to stop being bulimic anyway, I just played along.  To keep busy I got a job at a famous health club that shall remain nameless and pretty soon I was full blown bulimarexic (never eating/holding down any meals, and only binging-n-purging).  But my bulimia is not the focus of this post, my singing is.  I stopped doing the one thing I loved most and was knowingly hurting my throat day after day.

What followed was years of self-abuse, on/off voice lessons & studies, and a lot of energy spent focusing on things I thought were important, but in retrospect were just distractions.  I even went to live in Brazil to teach English to Executives and joined a rock band.  I taught English M-Th and toured with the band Fri-Sun and it was pretty cool actually, until the bassist started having an affair with our manager, the guitarist’s stalker wife was scaring off our fans, the keyboard player got a groupie pregnant, and the drummer stopped showing up to rehearsals because he was God’s-gift-to-drumming.  It wasn’t long before I was on a plane back to New York.

It took some time, but I got my shit together little by little (a mixture of therapy, meds & support from friends/family).  Which eventually led to my going to nutrition school and becoming a personal trainer & fitness instructor to help others.

In 2001 I returned to my musical studies at the Mannes College of Music in New York.  It was a dream come true to be singing again and finally making plans for my operatic career (oh yeah, did I mention my LOVE is for opera?)  But I was still haunted by a voice teacher I had worked with years before that one day told me I would never be good enough to have a career.  Some days I knew she was just bitter about her own career, but other days I wasn’t so sure and doubted myself…what if she was right?

In 2004 I gave birth to my beautiful daughter.  And although I sang opera to her during my entire pregnancy, I decided that it was time to give up my operatic dreams and make room for nursery rhymes.  After she was born I stopped singing completely.

This past January I had to go to Berlin for work. While there, a friend invited me to the Deutsche Staatsoper to see the Marriage of Figaro.  I was so excited, I hadn’t seen Figaro in so long, and I adore anything Mozart.  Suffice it to say that I was completely overcome with emotion, not only was the production wonderful, but it stirred in me what I had been supressing for so long, my love of singing.  I knew at that moment that I had to sing again. (cue the cheesy music) 

I have since been studying with a renowned voice teacher in Boston, making extraordinary progress.  I say that not in a conceited way, but I am literally doing things with my voice I never thought possible.  Maybe it was the break from singing? the pregnancy? who knows.  But the voice that is there now is that of a mature woman that can sing opera. 

Today I was offered a paid singing gig in an opera production.  It’s not a lead, its the 1st soprano of a small ensemble of 4, but I don’t care what it is.  Someone wants to pay me to sing in an opera!  Hot damn!  Who knows where this road will lead, for now I am just going to enjoy the journey.  If I decide to go for it, I know it won’t be easy…but nothing worthwhile ever is right?

I’m finally on my way.

Ms.Fitarella got to have anything on the menu her hungry heart desired last night…these were her picks:

3 Flutes of Champagne

Appetizer 

Lobster and Crab Cake

Lumps of succulent lobster and crab with hints of dry mustard
and red pepper are perfectly paired with fresh, sweet corn relish.

Main Course 

Filet Oscar

Our 10 oz Filet Mignon, served with steamed asparagus spears,
colossal lump crabmeat, drizzled with our housemade Béarnaise.

Dessert

Cheesecake with Strawberries

A lighter, fluffier version of its New York cousin.
Our cheesecake is nestled in a vanilla wafer crust and
garnished with fresh, sweet strawberries and a luscious strawberry sauce.

Flourless Chocolate Espresso Cake

Chocolate lovers will rhapsodize over this rich, dense dream of a cake. A hint of espresso, fresh raspberries, whipped cream and Melba sauce make for an unforgettable finish to any meal.

Classic Crème Brulee

Tap through a crisp caramelized sugar crust to the creamiest
of custards below to see why this remains a perennial favorite.

And yes, I ordered 3 desserts (which I shared)
and enjoyed every bite.

Ack! I totally forgot about my ‘Gratitude Mondays’ yesterday! duh!
So we will make today Thankey Tuesday.

According to my marathon program today is an OFF day,
so I am thankful for that! I am also thankful that our first day with the sitter yesterday was a super success!  After having small panic attacks all day (pictures of everything from daughter’s tantrums to sitter on America’s Most Wanted danced in my head), I’m happy to report she has been approved on all fronts and will be back again today.  That of course, warranted a trip to the new gelato counter at our whole foods, which daughter was very thankful for.

What might you be thankey for today?

Woot! Just got back from a 13.16 mile run and I’m feelin’ good, I clocked a 9:01/mile pace which for me is a personal best!  I’m not a super fast runner (although I’m workin on it!) and the last time I trained for a marathon I was at a 10min/mile so I am VERY pleased right now.  If you’re familiar with the Charles River/Cambridge area I ran from Mt. Auburn Hospital, down Memorial Drive, across the Longfellow Bridge, up Storrow Drive, across the Cambridge street Bridge, back down Memorial Drive, across the Harvard Bridge, back up Storrow Drive, Across the Western Ave. Bridge, and back up Memorial Drive to my car! Phew!  I did stop three times, once because I couldn’t get my water out of my fuel belt, then I couldn’t figure out how to get back on to Storrow Drive after coming across the Harvard Bridge so I had to cross the highway and scraped my knee on the metal railing in the process (Kids, DO NOT try this at home), and then stopped again between miles 11-12 for more water.  I used Expresso Love GU Energy Gel (i loove all things coffee related) and tried Sports Beans (fruit punch flavor) for the first time.  The beans were really tasty, but I don’t think I’m very good at running & chewing at the same time, so I’ll probably just stick to the GU - much easier to just suck down.  Anyone try the new Roctane GU? That’s next on my list.

All in all, a good morning’s work! 
Now I just have to do that twice on marathon day…
Time to eat! Happy Sunday!

One of my favorite fitness competitors, Adela Garcia, just announced she won’t be defending her title at the Olympia this year.  She tore her ACL  (ouch!) while practicing her routine and will need surgery.  For those of you not familiar with the competitive fitness scene, Adela is a kickass-fitness-firecracker that I have admired for a long time.  She’s been competing nonstop since 1997 and always gives a crazyfuninspiring performance. 

Adela, sending you supergoodgetwellfast vibes & hugs!
Que te mejores pronto amiga!

The anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) is one of 4 ligaments that are critical to the stability of the knee joint.  A ligament is made of tough fibrous material and functions to control excessive motion by limiting joint mobility. Of the 4 major ligaments of the knee, the ACL injury is the most common knee ligament injury…and it hurts like a mo’ fo’!

and I did!